After Carnavália

A dose of faith in love

I’m in the hands of mystery, becoming something I don’t yet know. My body, shaped like anopen world, rebuilds itself according to a pattern that is its own. It’s a revolution. What isshapeless becomes precise, takes form, is redefined — gently and brutally.

To be me, today, means to reject consensus. It’s Ash Wednesday, and after experiencing a deep joy born of Carnival’s release, maybe you and I need a dose of my faith in love. From here on, your life story is yours. Mine is mine. People aren’t always aware they are writing a story as they live it. But the truth is that it’s the crossing of gazes that keeps us alive — that tension of unexpected, unspeakable, improbable encounters. Healing is an act of communion. We rarely heal in isolation.

In a matter of seconds, silent desire locks eyes with mine and melts something inside me. I want to close my borders, resist invasion — but maybe I’ve already been surrounded. As the writer Socorro Acioli says in her book Prayer to Disappear: we always arrive at the place where we are awaited.

Many of us, women and men alike, are unable to cope with the reality of what it means to have a powerful connection that transforms our lives — even though it won’t lead to a lasting relationship, or any relationship at all. Still, the act of opening up is a way of seeking love.

I choose to walk like a beast along the spine of the world. It’s necessary to believe in the beasts — in their silences, restraint, withdrawal, and in how they signal the body and soul’s alerts. When we have clarity of mind and heart, we’re able to feel the pleasure of diving into the sensual world around us, returning with both immediate and profound delight.

Throughout our lives, we meet many people with whom we feel that special spark, the one that might lead us toward love. But that spark is not the same as a soul connection — a deeper bond. We can only go from perfect passion to perfect love when illusions fall away and we’re able to use the energy and intensity of erotic bonds to deepen self-discovery. There’s no way out — but inward.

I’m in the hands of mystery. The wind speaks. The clouds teach. The souls return to whisper. The letters declare. The messages warn. It’s all a true path. The stars in the sky… it’s all a path to understanding life on Earth.

We are the ones who see the invisible — and illuminate the skeptics.