Joy Isn’t Elsewhere

South Korean monk Haemin Sunim once asked his friends what was happening back home. They told him the old “you only live once” mindset had died. People no longer fall for the trap of compulsive, instant gratification. But it wasn’t because they became enlightened. It was because they spent more than they had.

Now, they’re riding a quieter wave — seeking small, certain joys, just like Japanese author Haruki Murakami (whom I love) once described.I love getting this kind of news. As someone attuned to Eastern thought, I often find myself suspended between doubt and hope: doubt that this might just be how South Koreans are softening the wait — and hope that we’re entering a global wave of presence and clarity.

Taking a nap with my little dog curled up on my chest. Diving into the ocean. Sunday breakfast with my sister. These things make me deeply happy, right then and there. They are my small, certain joys. What are yours?

Sometimes people believe happiness only arrives in the distant future — after a major accomplishment, a life milestone, or years of effort. In session after session, I listen — and try to show my clients that there’s an infinite amount of joy outside the usual frameworks we’re taught to follow. Each person can choose where to find their own happiness.

Murakami’s idea requires presence. Happiness is more available than we think — if we’re willing to slow down and notice what’s already here. When your mind settles, you begin to see what had always been there — both inside yourself and in the world.

Of course, marrying someone you love, having a child, getting a promotion — these are important sources of joy, deeply rooted in cultural ideals. They bring a real sense of fulfillment. But if we believe only milestones bring “real” happiness, we may spend a lifetime chasing them — only to arrive where so many do: exhausted, frustrated, unseen.

My wish is simple: that you’ll remember — joy isn’t elsewhere.

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*Inspired by the book Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down, by Haemin Sunim.

**Translated and adapted by the author.